Paradise Lost and Found
by 00Lita00
Summary: Pieces of Spring Awakening, but mainly takes place after. Olivia and Amanda have a great life together which becomes even better after Noah, until someone from the past comes back to wreck havoc on their lives. Yes, I do suck at summaries & titles but always hope the stories come out better. Enjoy :) **I do not own Law & Order:SVU or it's characters. Only the ones I created**
1. Chapter 1

Amanda was the first one to arrive at the precinct. It was quiet and empty just the way she liked it. It made things a lot easier for her to finish up on leftover paperwork. It wasn't long before she heard footsteps. Not able to hide the small smile on her face she got up making her way over to the coffee pot to pour some coffee for the sergeant. It was their little secret so the half hour they were there alone in the mornings helped them get through the day without any suspicions.

Handing Olivia her cup she asked if there was any news on Amaro. She wasn't surprised with the answer she received as it was what she expected. Munch posted his bail, but work and charges were still not decided. Amanda started thinking of ways to fix it immediately before she was snapped from her thoughts by a warning to leave it alone. She agreed to the request only to keep peace, but there was no way she'd let it go. Leaning over to give Amanda a kiss Olivia got up to head to her office.

An hour later the two took off to visit Nick and see how he was holding up. Both knew that not being able to work had to be eating at him. They made small talk and tried to keep his mind off the current situation. Although it wasn't very successful. Halfway through their visit, Amanda had to take off for a meeting.

"Sorry, I have a meeting to go to. Good luck with everything. If you need me call." She said making her way out the door.

Amanda had a plan of her own in motion. She was headed to the studio to talk to Mrs. Wilkes, the wife of the man who caused Amaro this entire ordeal. Somehow she would fix it, the blackmail she had was perfect. Walking in she waited patiently for a small break in whatever was going on before approaching the woman who could fix things for her colleague.

"I want you to leave right now." Mrs. Wilkes stated when she saw the detective standing there.

"Not until you hear what I have to say about your husband's activities last night." She snapped back.

Ushering everyone out of the room, she regained her posture focusing her attention on the blonde detective while calling her partner crazy.

"My partner has to go through anger management while your husband goes free. Gets to keep his perverted fantasies… He gets to keep everything including his torture chamber! Is that really what you signed on for when you married him?!"

"Marriage is complicated, there are compromises…" She tried to explain but Amanda was having none of it.

"Yeah, there are. I went into your husband's chat room last night." Amanda spoke while also reciting his responses she had received before continuing on. "He wants me to send him photos of boys. The second I do, the second he downloads them his ass goes down for possession of kiddie torture porn. And you and I both know he's going to download."

"You're here to blackmail me?!"

"Whatever it takes. You're in denial. Your husband needs help! And he needs to do something else. Simon tells IAB he swung first. And my partner had to fight back in self defense. If he doesn't do that I will make sure his ass is in jail by the end of today! And he WILL die there." She growled trying to get her point across before storming out not waiting for another word.

Arriving back at the precinct Amanda was fuming. Nothing she tried was able to calm her anger or resentment she felt towards the woman married to the man causing her colleague so much trouble. How could someone love anyone with that type of demeanor or lifestyle? It was something she couldn't wrap her head around. Eventually she started feeling a little dizzy from walking circles. She decided to sit down at her desk to finish paperwork. It was going rather quickly with the current mind frame.

Fin knew something was off with his partner right away when she denied going to lunch with him. The only times she turned down a free meal was when she was angry or upset. He attempted to play twenty questions with her until he gave up after being yelled at for the fourth time. He sent a text to Olivia on his way out letting her know something was up with Amanda.

Amaro was sitting with his representative waiting on a meeting with IAB. Neither knew what was going on. The man from IAB explained how Simon Wilkes came in dropping charges and admitting to throwing the first punch leaving Amaro off the hook. As for his job at SVU, it was to be decided by the DA. This was shocking news, he never expected the man to step forward and take blame for the entire situation nor did he realize a blonde detective used blackmail to do it.

"Rollins! My office now!" Olivia barked as she walked by. Her tone had Amanda a little bit worried but she followed behind. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get on to Fin like that. It's just been a stressful week and a bad day. I swear that's all."

"Okay. But try to keep things in check? Please?" She asked and was satisfied with Amanda's nod.

"I promise you will know it all tomorrow afternoon. I think you'll be a little more understanding when I come clean." Amanda smiled before giving Olivia a very passionate kiss.

Giving her detective a warning look she started to ask another question. Amanda reassured her it was nothing to do with gambling.

Taking one last look at the brunette she walked back to her desk. Pulling out the folder from her drawer she read over it one last time. This would be the perfect present for their one year anniversary if everything went according to plan. Only time and her appointment the next day would tell. Throwing it back in the drawer she looked up to find Nick walking into the squad room. He had a smile so it seemed as everything went as planned.

Listening to him talk about the confession and how he could get his job back made Amanda proud of herself. She made a lot of mistakes since joining it was nice to be able to save a member of her team like they did for her with her gambling.

Now she just hoped she could make Olivia just as happy with their own good news. Knowing how much her girlfriend wanted to be a mother, she wanted to do everything to make it happen.

Around 5 that evening Amanda decided to call it a day and head home. Running on almost nothing the only thing she wanted to do was curl up in bed. Just as she was walking out the door she was stopped with a hand on her shoulder. Turning around her eyes met chocolate brown.

"Manda, are you sure you're doing okay? You've been a little off these last few days." Olivia pried with concern lacing her voice.

"I promise things are fine. Trust me on this okay?" Amanda begged

"Alright. I just have a few things to finish up and I'll meet you at home."

Amanda got home and started dinner for when Olivia arrived. Unfortunately, it didn't work out as nothing she opened seemed to have a good smell. So they would have to settle for take-out.

"Honey, I'm home." Olivia joked as she let herself in, but Amanda was nowhere to be found. Wandering into the bedroom she found the blonde passed out on the bed. Worry started to settle in her with all this strange behavior. It all seemed familiar, but she was too exhausted to figure it out. Putting the food away she changed and crawled into bed hoping tomorrow would be better.

Awakening to the noises in the kitchen, Olivia rolled out of bed to check it out. Today was Amanda's day off, why was she up so early? Glancing at the door frame to the bedroom, Amanda walked over and gave her girlfriend a good morning kiss. Then explained how she had an appointment, nothing serious, but she had to do it and after it was over she could tell her everything.

"I love you and will see you in an hour or two." Amanda said as she continued to pick up what she needed.

"Text me first as I do have that court appearance for baby Noah today." Olivia reminded her. Saying their good byes they both went their separate ways.

Amanda's appointment went extremely well. The doctor told her all was well. It seemed she was indeed pregnant. She was overjoyed. Amanda couldn't wait to share the news with the one person who meant the world to her. Leaving the office she sent a quick text saying she'd see Olivia at the precinct in an hour as she had to pick some things up.

Olivia's heart was breaking listening to the judge talk. It seemed no one wanted baby Noah and he would be put back in the system. Her head snapped up from reading Amanda's text when the judge said her name. She then offered Olivia the option to be the baby's foster mom with the chance to adopt if she wanted to. She was in shock. The thought of being a parent seemed a distant memory for her. This baby needed someone so, she made the decision to talk Amanda into it and bring him home with them. Taking the paperwork from the judge she made her way to the precinct to wait for Amanda in hopes that she would feel the same way.

Upon arriving at the precinct Olivia saw Amanda nervously pacing at the top of the steps. Not sure on what was going she became concerned.

"Amanda, what's wrong?"

"Nothing really. Just not sure how you're gonna react when I show you this." Amanda replied handing over the manila envelope.

Opening it slowly, Olivia pulled out the papers. They were results from a doctor's office. It wasn't something easy to be decoded. But when she opened the smaller envelope she saw the ultrasound pictures. It finally hit her why Amanda had been so different the last week. Words would not form though. Looking up Olivia saw tears in her girlfriend's eyes.

"I'm sorry Liv, I thought it would be a great anniversary present for you. It was something you always wanted."

"No, it's amazing. I can't believe you did this for me, I mean us. I just wasn't expecting it. Please don't apologize." Olivia soothed wrapping Amanda up in her arms.

Noticing the papers in Olivia had set down she looked at her with a face full of question. Deciding it was now or never, she decided to tell Amanda what had been discussed at the hearing. After explaining everything and how she was offered to take Noah, Olivia waited for an answer.

"It's wonderful they are allowing you to do that. He would be well taken care of that's for sure." Thinking for a bit she continued on. "Do you want me to get rid of the one I'm having for us to make it easier?" Amanda asked softly

"What? No. I would never ask that of you. If it's okay with you we can do both. It won't be easy, but we'll manage. I promise."

"Let's go get Noah then." Amanda agreed taking Olivia's hand in her own

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**Probably not the best first chapter but I hope you like it so far.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

_**So sorry for the delayed update. Movers and internet took awhile to set back up. Regular updates from now on though :) **_

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It wasn't that long of a drive to the adoption agency with it being midday and not much traffic. Walking up the steps of the building, Amanda could tell Olivia was starting to get nervous. She reassured her all would be fine. The judge's order along with the stability she would provide for the baby, what could go wrong? Once Olivia got her emotions in check again they finally entered hoping they would leave with little Noah.

Nerves were getting the best of both women as they watched the lady behind the desk read over the paperwork. When she stamped the paper with approval the weight seemed to be lifted. It wasn't long before she came back with the baby and what little bit of stuff he had. Thanking the woman as Olivia took Noah from her they headed out of the building. There was only one thing left to do before they could get along with their lives, which was telling the squad room about everything.

Handing Noah over to Amanda as they got to the precinct doors, Olivia told her to hang back a minute until she grouped everyone in her office. There would be less fuss and questions that way. Motioning for the men to follow her she headed straight for her desk. Not long after she gave a small lecture telling them to stay quiet until she was done explaining, Amanda walked in with the baby. All eyes turned to the blonde unsure of what to think.

"Guys, this is Noah. Get used to him because he will be around for a very long time." Olivia said pulling out the adoption papers.

"Wait… Why is Amanda's name on there too? Are you sharing custody or something?" A confused Fin asked completely forgetting the entire five minutes prior to Amanda's arrival.

"Well, if you'd let me finish you'd know why. Amanda and I have been together for a year. We are very much in love and decided to start a family. Noah is one surprise we weren't planning on but we are happy to have him."

"Congratulations Liv! You too Amanda. I'm happy for you guys." Nick said standing up to give his partner a hug.

Satisfied with the responses they gave she sent them all back to work. She kept Amanda back wanting to know when she would be ready to tell the squad their biggest news. Still trying to wrap her head around the day's events she couldn't give an answer to Olivia. Silently agreeing to wait until her girlfriend was ready she sent Amanda home with Noah.

Walking in the door Amanda dropped the bags from the store happy that at least one of her arms would get a break. She made a bottle then took the baby into the other room to put him down for a nap, which she hoped to take with him. It felt good to lie down, she was so exhausted even though very little was done that day. Unfortunately her nap was cut short when her phone started buzzing. Thinking it was Olivia she didn't even bother looking before answering. Nothing was said, just breathing.

"Hello?... Look, if you're not gonna say anything don't waste my time!" She snapped.

"Detective Rollins, right?" The voice asked before continuing. "You don't know me, but I've been watching you and that sergeant of yours. You two are good together, but things are about to change. After what you did to my brother, you better watch yourselves."

Before Amanda could respond, the line went dead. Fear was one thing that was never a part of her life after she moved out from her parent's home. But now, her fearlessness was starting to crack. Who was this guy? And what was his issue with them? These questions not able to be answered made her even more nervous. A high pitched scream startled her out of her thoughts. For a few minutes she was so caught up in that call she completely forgot about little Noah. Picking him up to try and soothe him, she prayed her girlfriend would get home soon. There wasn't much more she could handle especially when the urge to go to a casino crossed her mind. If it wasn't for the baby she probably would have.

It was after six when Amanda really started to worry about Olivia. She was supposed to be home by 5:30 or call if it was going to be a late night. With earlier events, Amanda wondered if maybe the person who called succeeded in grabbing her. Right as she reached for her phone, the door opened and in walked Olivia.

"Sorry I'm late, traffic was a nightmare tonight." She apologized.

"Its fine, I was about to call you to see what was going on. I know being in charge means more work for you, just with the call I got earlier I thought maybe something happened."

"What call?" Olivia questioned with a voice full of concern.

"Some guy called saying that what I did to his brother we would pay for. Also, that he'd been watching us." Amanda replied nervously.

A frown appeared onto Olivia's face as she tried to remember any recent cases that this could be related to. Since nothing came to mind, the thoughts were pushed away deciding it was a scare tactic. Besides, she wanted to spend the evening with her family. It made her happy to see Amanda and Noah getting along so well. Overall, he seemed to be a low key, happy baby which made bedtime really easy.

Now that she was sitting on the couch with just her and Amanda she noticed the worry lines etched all over her face. Something was definitely eating away at the blonde, but she wasn't talking. Nothing Olivia said seemed to even register. Concern started taking over from not knowing where Amanda's mind frame was.

"Manda, please talk to me. I'm worried about you." Olivia whispered pulling Amanda closer to her.

Resting her head on Olivia's shoulder she gave her typical answer of 'I'm fine.' At that point in time she didn't care if the brunette bought it or not. After about five minutes she got restless yet again.

"I'm going for a walk." Amanda mumbled before getting up and heading for the door. "I'll be back soon, then will be heading to bed."

Watching the door close, Olivia let out a long sigh. This was going to be a very difficult night for the both of them. She got up to start cleaning the kitchen with millions of thoughts racing through her mind. What would this do to them? Whatever it was it was taking its toll on Amanda. Glancing out the window Olivia saw the silhouette of her girlfriend across the street leaning on the railing looking into the night. Not knowing what else she could do, she just gave up going to bed herself. Tomorrow would be a new day with a hopefully better outlook.

Sneaking back into the house over an hour later, Amanda did her best to be quiet as not to wake Noah or Olivia. Lucky for her she was able to shower, change and move to the living room with no one waking. Sleep was not an option. The last thing she wanted to do was keep Olivia up. Her night resulted in tossing and turning, then eventually just got up to make breakfast for everyone. She was so exhausted she knew the day would just drag on.

Olivia awoke to the smell of bacon, eggs and coffee. Looking over at the clock, it read 6:15am. A small groan escaped her as she rose from the bed knowing the conversation her and Amanda needed to have was probably not going to end well. Slowly making her way to the kitchen, she couldn't help but notice the dark rings around Amanda's eyes which told of a miserable night.

"Manda, why didn't you come to bed last night?" Olivia softly spoke.

"I didn't wanna wake you. It was for the best since I didn't sleep. I was restless and would've kept you from sleeping." She muttered while pouring their coffee.

"Look, I don't want to pry. I just want to know what's going on. I get the feeling there's more to that call then you are telling me."

"Liv, awhile ago, before I came to New York, I put someone away. He was one of the worst fugitives out there. His brother wasn't much better. When I got transferred after that incident in Georgia, I was relieved. Everything got changed and I figured there would be no way he could get to me. I was wrong. I will handle this myself though. You have enough on your plate right now without adding this." Amanda responded looking at the counter to avoid eye contact with Olivia.

"We're in this together. We're family and this is not going to ruin you or us. I won't let it." Olivia reassured her.

Turning around, Amanda took comfort in Olivia's embrace. For a few minutes everything seemed normal that things would be okay. Once she started to relax a bit, they broke apart. Amanda saw the look of worry etched all over her girlfriend's face. Not able to think of anything to say, she grabbed the plates so they could eat breakfast before waking the baby. Although for Amanda, her food would end up in the trash as she sprinted for the bathroom.

Standing in the hallway outside the door, Olivia wondered how this would all work out. More stress was one thing neither of them need right now especially Amanda. She decided that the first thing she would do is get the team to start tracking this man down. When he was out of the way, Olivia knew they both would be able to calm down. Of course they were still stuck between a rock and a hard place. Neither had the day off and there was no sitter lined up. The long day they thought they had, became longer since there was no choice other than taking Noah with them.

"What are you thinking about?" Amanda asked startling her.

"Oh, nothing. I was just trying to figure out where to put Noah at the precinct considering a baby sitter or nanny hadn't been figured out yet."

"Okay. Let me change and clean up a bit so we can head in." Amanda smiled giving Olivia a quick kiss as she passed her.

Olivia asked three more times on the way to the precinct if Amanda was sure she was well enough to go in. Each response was exactly the same. They were more alike than Olivia ever thought. Both had to have something to work on or do when things were bad. Upon entering the squad room, they saw a small box on Amanda's desk with a note attached.

Amanda opened the note to read what it said before opening the package. It was a fancy print which read: **Rollins, here's a little gift for you and your new family.** Not sure who it was from, she hesitated with the package. Olivia stood a few feet behind her with Noah watching not knowing what she should do. Amanda carefully unwrapped the contents in the box which consisted of a pacifier, some formula, a bottle and a picture. Staring at the photo everything came rushing back to her about the night that practically ruined her life. Bolting towards the exit while the glass shattered on the floor, she left a very confused Olivia standing behind her desk. Having no idea what just happened, she debated on following the blonde.

Fin walked in seeing the distraught look on his sergeant's face, the baby asleep on her shoulder and the glass on the floor. Before he could even ask she handed him the baby to follow Amanda's trail.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the long awaited Chapter 3. Sorry for the long delay, just lost my ideas for the story. Hope you enjoy this one and it shouldn't be long before I get 4 to you :)**

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Trying to find Amanda in the Manhattan area at this time was near impossible with the traffic. There was no way to tell which way she went. Phone calls and texts were being ignored too. Olivia knew Amanda could take care of herself, but with recent events, worry started to overtake her. If that phone call was as serious as she thought, her girlfriend could be gone right now. Hating to do it, Olivia did the only thing she could think of, which was tracking the phone. She figured they could fight over it later that it was more important to find her now.

Olivia frowned when she found out where Amanda was. After all the hard work over the last year and a half to keep her addiction at bay, she couldn't figure out why she would give it all up. There had to be a reason Amanda went to the Casino. She just prayed it had nothing to do with her gambling. Without even thinking about leaving Noah with Fin, Olivia hopped into a cab to hopefully stop Amanda from making a big mistake that she'd never forgive herself for.

Sitting on the sidelines of the blackjack table she watched intently as others played. Amanda wanted nothing more than to lay down a bet, have some fun and forget everything. It was taking all she had to stay where she was. She wasn't even sure why she was torturing herself with this. As she picked up her phone to text Olivia, she was stopped by that familiar voice asking her what she was doing. Looking up into concerned brown eyes it was all she could do to keep from crumbling. Olivia didn't seem that upset with her, but the guilt was eating away at Amanda for even setting foot inside. Walking outside, Amanda finally broke the silence.

"Liv, I'm really sorry for coming to a Casino. I wasn't planning on placing a bet or playing cards. I don't know, I guess the torture of not being able to play was better than what I was feeling."

"It's alright. The important thing is that you didn't gamble. Would you mind telling me what is going on though. Who is this man that has got you so worked up?"

"Back in Atlanta, before I was transferred here. I was part of an undercover mission to take down a drug cartel. I'm not proud of some of the things I did, but it worked out. The leader got thrown in prison and his brother was able to escape. I never thought I'd hear from him again. Apparently I was wrong. Now Noah, the baby and your life is in just as much danger as mine. I'm so sorry. I never thought this would happen." Amanda explained with tears streaming down her face.

"Manda, it's okay. We'll get through this. Now come on, let's get back to work and to Noah." Olivia said pushing Amanda toward the waiting cab.

It was a long quiet ride back to the station. Neither really knew what to say to the other. Amanda was feeling so lost. One reason was for lying and the other for not telling her girlfriend the entire story. How was she supposed to tell her what really happened? The thought of losing her girlfriend and her son was way too much to deal with at this point in time. Olivia knew she wasn't being completely truthful, but hoped in time; Amanda would be comfortable to tell her the rest no matter how horrific it was.

Walking back into the precinct, Olivia half expected it to be a mess. Leaving a baby with Fin probably wasn't the greatest idea, but she was desperate at the time. To her surprise everything was running just like it should. The box and what resided in it had also been taken care of.

"Fin, where's Noah?" Olivia asked when she saw everyone but the baby.

"Oh, I just put him in the bunks when he fell asleep. I keep checking on him too. Oh, and I talked to Ken, he said he could watch the kid until you guys figured it all out." Fin responded.

"Thank you. I may take you up on that." Olivia smiled heading off towards the back.

Amanda sat at her desk with her face buried in her hands. This day was completely spiraling out of control. The last thing she wanted to be doing was staring at a screen. Fin plopped down next to her patiently waiting for her to open up. It worked most of the time as she rarely hid things from him. This time she just stared off into space. The ringing phone on her desk startled her from her thoughts. After hanging up the phone, she asked if Fin was ready to go as they had a lead on one of their suspects. Not even waiting for the answer Amanda was halfway out the door. Working was one thing that could keep her mind occupied.

Arriving at their destination, Amanda took the entire scene in. It was an old rundown apartment building. Paint was chipping from the building, broken cars and spray painted walls was about all there was to see.

"Well, this just looks safe." Amanda mumbled stepping out of the car getting a strange look from Fin in the process.

Pulling their weapons, they made their way up the stairs to apartment 7B. Taking one last look at his partner to make sure she was ready Fin started pounding on the door. Hearing movement inside, but no one answering the door, he decided to kick it down. A shot rang out and Amanda was pushed aside as the man bolted. Two officers who were called in as back-up grabbed him as he reached the street. Fin looked back to find his partner sitting against the banister obviously in a lot of pain.

"You okay partner?" He asked cautiously.

"No Fin. I don't think I am. Call Olivia and have her meet us at the hospital, I need to see a doctor now."

Helping her up, he dialed the Sergeant's number while practically carrying her to the car. After relaying the message to Olivia, his concern went back to his partner. This time he didn't care if she got upset, it was time for him to know what was going on. Before he could even start to ask questions, she had passed out in the passenger's seat. This put him into panic mode causing him to speed through the streets with his lights fearing the worst.

Rushing into the Emergency Room with Amanda in his arms, he started yelling for help. A nurse ran to him with a stretcher.

"Don't worry sir. Your girlfriend will be just fine. Please fill out these papers while I get her settled in a room." She said wheeling Amanda back toward the exam rooms.

"She's not my…." Fin tried to tell her, but they were already out of sight.

Fin looked at the paperwork with no idea on how to fill out the questionnaire. He was about to call Olivia when she grabbed him by his arm. He quickly handed her the papers filling her in on what happened. Disappointment crossed the Sergeant's face for a second before softening. She wanted to yell at him, tell him he was supposed to watch her more careful. But remembering he had no idea of her girlfriend's condition, she decided against it.

"It's okay Fin, accidents do happen. She'll be fine I'm sure of it." Olivia told him even though she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.

Olivia sent Fin back to the precinct before turning in the papers demanding to see Amanda. It took twenty minutes of arguing and a threat of arresting one of the desk nurses before she finally was allowed access. Finding the doctor on the way back, she pulled him aside to find out what the issues were Amanda was facing. He explained to Olivia that her girlfriend was 2 months pregnant, which she knew. The reason for her being admitted was the fall she had taken and that she was partially dehydrated.

"We need to watch the baby carefully for the next 24 hours. Even though it wasn't a major one, it still needs to be monitored. She has had a small dose of pain medication which won't affect the baby but will keep the pain at bay. Her shoulder also has a large bruise from being hit on something. Normally a bruise wouldn't show to that extent, although considering her earlier injury, it is more sensitive to impact. There are no life threatening or serious injuries." He explained.

Most of what he said either went over Olivia's head or she had no words as she just walked off towards her girlfriend's room. Slowly making her way in being as quiet as possible she sat down next to Amanda's bed. Deciding to let her sleep for a bit she sent a text to see how Noah was and then let Fin know she was taking the rest of the day off. '_This is not how I wanted to spend our anniversary night.'_ Olivia thought looking at Amanda.

Amanda started to wake up around the same time the nurse walked in. Glancing over she seen Olivia asleep in the chair next to her. Not sure how long she'd been out, she questioned the nurse. After being told she would be there at least another 24 hours to monitor everything she started becoming annoyed and loud. This caused Olivia to almost fall out of her chair from being startled awake by all the commotion. Watching the scene unfold in front of her she decided to intervene. Sitting on the edge of the bed grasping Amanda's hand she did her best to calm her down.

"Liv, I just want out of here. Hospitals are not my thing and I'll end up crazy if I stay much longer." Amanda complained trying to get up to leave.

Gently pushing her back down, Olivia promised to try and get her out before the day was over. Not completely sure if she could even pull it off, she decided to try anyway to keep her promise. If it would make Amanda happy, she would gladly do whatever she could.

"Please understand it's for her own good. I know it's not the ideal situation, but you do want what's best for her right?" The nurse explained to Olivia.

She decided to try one last time. "I do understand. But it seems to me this is causing her more stress. At least at home, she'd feel more comfortable and less likely to try and get up. I will be there the entire time to keep her down."

Agreeing to talk to the doctor the nurse took off down the hall. Making her way back to Amanda, Olivia hoped they would be going home. If not, it was going to be a very long night for her. One thing she knew was when Amanda had her mind made up on something, there was no way to change it. All she could see was her girlfriend breaking out of the hospital one way or another if they required her to stay.

"Manda, if they do let you go home, you have to promise me you will stay in bed or on the couch. No work or moving around. Let me take care of you. Please?" Olivia pleaded.

Amanda shook her head in agreement, then laid back down to wait yet again for someone to come in. One thing she never had patience for were doctors and hospitals. She often wondered if she would be okay with medical staff if it wasn't for all the times she spent there as a child. Those memories mad her frown a bit.

The smile on her face couldn't much bigger than the one she was wearing as the doctor told her she could leave if she took it easy for the next 48 hours. In all the time she'd known the blonde, Olivia could never remember a time when she'd been this happy to leave somewhere. Now it was time for the biggest challenge of all. Could she really keep Amanda from doing things?


	4. Chapter 4

Arriving home with Amanda after picking up Noah seemed to be going a lot better than Olivia expected. There was not even one complaint on the car ride home about the rules that where set. Maybe this would be easier to handle than she originally thought. Unfortunately, the situation changed within two hours of being at the apartment.

"Amanda! This is not up for debate. You can sit on the floor and play with Noah, watch TV or go lay down on the bed. I am not letting you do anything else. Now quit complaining." Olivia scolded her for the third time when she had tried to help out.

"It's not fair!" Amanda whined. "You shouldn't have to do all the work. And I can't just do nothin' for two days."

"The agreement was, you come home and you rest. You promised me you would if I got you out. Do I need to start treating you like a kid?" She asked, knowing too well how much her girlfriend hated that question.

"No. You don't. I just hate being useless. Can I please help with dishes at least?"

"Manda." Olivia sternly responded with a warning note in it as she looked at her.

Crossing her arms she just sat on the couch pouting. _'You're not even here yet and you're already causing problems.' _Amanda thought looking at her stomach. Tomorrow and the next day were two she was far from looking forward to. Looking up as she saw Olivia out of the corner of her eye picking up Noah for bed she sent a glare their way. Just shaking her head she took the baby into the other room.

Olivia spent a few extra minutes in the room with the baby giving Amanda a little more time to get over her most recent issue. A small voice in the back of her head told her she should have left her overnight like they wanted. It'd be easier on her, but not having her home would have made for a sleepless night for her. Although it would seem she wouldn't be sleeping much anyway. Poking her head out, she noticed the empty couch which caused her a bit of panic thinking she had just taken off. But that thought was gone when she heard Amanda complaining in the other room. _'Maybe I'll be lucky and get some sleep tonight.'_ Olivia thought making her way to the bedroom.

Changing into her sleepwear she climbed into bed next to Amanda who growled at her when she tried to curl up next to her. She obviously didn't want to be touched, let alone held. It was still a little shocking to Olivia that she had actually held her ground for once. It wasn't the first time she wasn't allowed to touch her, but it never lasted more than a few minutes. Now she was beginning to wonder if she went a little too far with the teasing earlier. Rolling over facing the door, she immediately fell asleep.

Amanda was the first to awake the next morning. Looking over seeing Olivia was still asleep she decided to take advantage of it. Quietly leaving the room she headed toward the kitchen to make breakfast. Deciding that pancakes would be the easiest to make with the least amount of noise she gets to work making them. Happy with how breakfast turned out and no dashes for the bathroom, she headed back in to wake her other half. Getting back in bed she leaned over giving Olivia a kiss.

"Morning honey." Olivia smiled leaning up to give Amanda a very passionate kiss. "Why do I smell pancakes?"

"Because I couldn't sleep and wanted you to have some food before you left that wasn't from a coffee shop."

"Manda, you know you aren't supposed to be doing any of that. Am I going to have to handcuff you to this bed to keep you down?" She questioned.

"Might be kinda fun. Handcuffs and a bed, endless possibilities..." Amanda laughed leaving the room.

Olivia groaned as she buried her face in her pillow. What was she going to do with this woman? Finally giving in to her rumbling stomach, she got up to eat. After explaining to Amanda how the day would play out, she wasn't too surprised on the reaction she got. First it was how she didn't trust leaving Amanda alone with Noah. After that was settled she whined about not needing a baby sitter. Anytime the blonde was injured or sick she acted like a child, wanting to do everything herself without help regardless of the situation. Olivia was almost starting to feel bad for Ken having to put up with her, even if it was for only a few hours.

The knock on the door signaled his arrival and her cue to leave. Giving Amanda a quick kiss she got up letting Ken in before walking out. Rolling her eyes she got up from the table, told him where Noah was then locked herself in the bedroom.

"Hey Sergeant, how's things?" Fin asked as she walked in.

"Okay for the time being. I'm only here for a couple hours. Not sure how your son will be by the time I get back though." Olivia responded.

"I take it Amanda isn't in a very good mood?"

"No, she's not happy at all. She'll live. Some days I wonder how I even put up with her." She responded before closing the door to her office.

Opening up her computer, she got to work on everything needing to be done. Working as quickly as she could to get her work and reports done, she hoped to be out by noon. Staring at the screen for almost twenty minutes accomplishing nothing, Olivia just decided to take everything home and do it. There was no way to get anything finished if she was just going to worry about Amanda the entire time. Waving to Fin on her way out she reminded him to call if they needed something or got a case otherwise she'd see them tomorrow. Stopping at the Chinese restaurant just a few blocks from home, she got Amanda's favorite dishes. Hoping Ken would agree to take Noah out for awhile, she could spend some quality one on one time with her girlfriend. With all going on, they never had any time for just them.

She couldn't help but notice the strange car parked in the empty lot across the way from the apartment. Only shrugging it off as she saw they were looking at a map. _'Probably someone else who got lost in this town.'_ She thought continuing up the stairs. What Olivia didn't see was the hole in the map and the guy holding binoculars watching the complex.

"Where's Amanda?" She asked looking around only seeing Ken and Noah.

"In the bedroom. As soon as you left, she headed in there. I haven't seen her since." He responded with a sad tone to his voice.

"Would you mind taking Noah out for a bit? It's a nice day and I think it'd be fun for both of you."

Olivia was thrilled when he agreed. She got a few things they would need and his stroller for Ken. Kissing Noah goodbye, telling him to have fun, she thanked him once again before making her way back to the room. Knocking lightly, she asked if she could come in. Getting no response she opened the door to see Amanda asleep on the bed with the laptop still open to whatever she was working on. Not wanting to invade the blonde's privacy, but completely curious, she glanced at the screen. Reading it over, it was information about the man she put away with his brother still at large. Switching through the tabs she came across a news article about the entire incident that went down with the bust. Hearing the movement from Amanda, Olivia quickly got away from the computer cursing herself for not being quieter.

"Home already?" Amanda asked still half asleep.

"Yeah, I just couldn't stay away. Lunch is on the table if you're hungry."

Shaking her head, she politely declined the food Olivia had offered. Noticing her computer was still open, Amanda shut it hoping it was fast enough before her girlfriend saw anything. It was the one and only thing she wished to hide from Olivia forever. Pushing the laptop to the side, Amanda patted the bed next to her wanting nothing more than to curl up in Olivia's arms. It was the one place she felt completely safe. Once both were situated, sleep took over them and they were out.

Twenty minutes after, Amanda's phone started buzzing non-stop. Complaining as she reached over to get it she snapped at the person on the other end. It was Fin saying someone was at the precinct needing to talk with her and if she was able to come down. It was a way out of the house so she accepted happily. Writing a note for Olivia saying she had to leave and didn't want to wake her up she left.

"Hey Fin. What you got for me?" Amanda asked curiously.

"Some woman in room one, said it was important she see you immediately. So, I took a shot that you'd be home and able to come in." He explained walking down the hall with her.

Stopping short of the door, she thanks her partner once again before telling him to disappear. Once inside she looks at the mysterious woman, only to have her heart stop as she looked at the black haired, blue eyed woman sitting on the couch. It was a complete surprise; she never once thought she would ever see Kendra again. Sitting down next to her Amanda tried to say something, but nothing came out.

"Allow me to explain why I'm here." Kendra spoke softly.

After explaining how much resentment she had held against the blonde for getting her sister and nephew killed, she went on to tell her how she had misjudged the entire situation. She always thought Amanda's job came first, even before her family. Not realizing at the time she had done everything she did to try and protect them. Finding out the two had been lost, it didn't matter what the real situation was, it was just too easy to blame Amanda. Even after seeing the heartbreak, the turmoil and all the other issues she went through after, including the transfer, she never forgave her. Now three years later she had finally come to terms with it all, knowing nothing could have been done. It was time to forgive and move on. Seeing that the man's brother was back on the prowl, Kendra felt the need to warn her.

"There are no words to say that will help ease the pain I've caused you. I just hope you can accept my apology."

"Kendra, a lot of things could've and should've been different that day. I've always regretted it. As for Andy, I knew he'd come and I've already got the warning." Amanda replied sadly. "You should leave here and get home before something happens."

Silently agreeing, Kendra got up from the couch. Giving the blonde a hug she wished her well begging her to be careful. She was finally able to make amends with her sister's lover and hoped they'd get the chance to once again be friends.

Walking out a few minutes after, Fin saw the defeated look on his partner's face. Obviously, whatever happened was enough to make her miserable. Finding out she had taken a taxi to the station so Olivia wouldn't hear her truck leave, he offered her a ride home. Both knew it was never a good thing to anger their sergeant. Fin was hoping she'd tell him what happened or at least strike a conversation, but it never happened. He just wished he knew what was going on through that mind of hers. Thanking him again for the ride, she made her way upstairs hoping Olivia was still sleeping.

Spinning around quickly at her name being called, Amanda almost fell, the movement making her a bit dizzy. It was Ken with Noah. Quickly looking at her watch, she noticed she'd been gone for about two hours. '_Great, I'm probably gonna be busted for this one. Good job Amanda.'_ She thought as she waited for him to reach her.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I have to go, I need to be somewhere. I'll see you tomorrow." He said as he dashed down the block.

Cursing under her breath the entire way upstairs, she wondered just how much trouble she was going to be in. To her surprise, she could hear the evened breathing of the brunette telling her she was still sleeping. Grabbing the note, she shredded it and tossed it. Looking down at the sleeping baby, Amanda debated on putting him to bed or leaving him. Not wanting to wake him up, she left him to make herself a late lunch.

The knock on the door startled her and she dropped the jar of jam, glass shattering as it hit the floor. Carefully stepping over and hearing Olivia get up, she went to the door. The man handed her a manila envelope, with her name on it before disappearing down the hall.

"How long have you been up? And when did Noah get dropped back off?" Olivia questioned.

"I've been up for a bit, and he's only been home maybe 10 minutes."

"Go sit down, I'll clean this up."

Staring at the envelope on her lap, Amanda finally found the courage to open it up. It was a letter along with a single bullet. Not even bothering to read the note, she just dropped everything on the floor before bolting out the door. Sighing loudly at the slamming door, Olivia tried to stay calm even though she was completely confused. The only thing she could think to do was call Fin and have him search for her. While on the phone, he said he knew something was bothering her when he dropped her off earlier. Almost snapping at the poor man, she had him go over everything he knew that happened. Rubbing her hand across her forehead she asked him to find her and bring her home. Picking up the envelope and the contents in it, her heart dropped. Someone had it out for Amanda and was dead set on finishing. Her biggest fear now was Fin not finding her girlfriend in time.


End file.
